It’s been 108 days since last visiting a beach, to add eye’d come accustomed/blessed and a little spoiled to Ra’sing(rising) at the beach for a month. To swim, meditate, sunrises/sunsets, soul kinnections made, yoga, to cry, replenish & so much more! Being from the DMV this was indeed a luxury and Eyem forever grateful 🙏🏾Idk about you but the beach is my happy place, safe space, where Eye most feel kinnected to God and my divine cellf!

From my brothas and SiStars getting gunned down to COVID-19 being the main topic of discussion now days, there’s no other place eye’d rather escape and be than at my safe space right now. Don’t get me wrong eye’ve gone here many times during meditation but it’s nothing like being there in the physical. My spirit wanted this soul bad, eye high key manifested it into my reality.

Eye rose early this Ra’sing like a child on Christmas Day, full of excitement and in awe that my dreams had come true. Eye would have never thought today would have been a pivotal day for me! Went to Publix and a nearby farmers market to grab fruits (eye’d never had before) and veggies to nurture my vessel.

When Shontice and eye arrived at the beach nothing else mattered, not even all the stares we got being the only people of color on the beach. In the past, it would make me feel uncomfortable but today Eye know who Eye am in this world and if that bothers anyone than that’s a (them) problem. Eye love mycellf!

86 degrees, my skin began to glow in gratitude, instant medicine! We laid out our beach chair, blanket, a new read All About Love by Bell Hooks and fruits to complete the beach necessities. When at the beach Eye think it’s pointless to come and not get in the water but that’s just me, not judging! Eye wasted no time getting my feet wet and adjusting to the waters, my feet grounded in the sand, the waves eye’ve never seen so high and rapid, it was serene!

Eye yelled out to Shon to take my picture because eye wanted to remember this moment.

She responded, “no be present” and began to shout loudly”be here now, be here now” repeatedly.

Eye nodded my head and said “you’re right” and found mycellf chanting “be here now…..” She doesn’t care too much for beach water so eye challenged her, “well if Eye have to be present so do you, what are you afraid of?” In that instance, she joined me and sat at the shoreline.

The tide began to pick up and thrust us around and about, eye surrendered to it, my inner child was having the time of her life. Shon on the other hand would get up every time she would see a wave come, trying to reframe from getting her ear wet due to a surgery she had. Eye was having soul much fun, laughing all over mycellf, eye encouraged her to let go and just be.

The moment she relinquished control, we laughed, played and sunk into the flow of Mother Earth, jumping with the waves. The onlookers began to smile and vicariously live through our experience. No matter how crazy it looked, we injoyed every bit of it! One second Eyem spinning, the next Eyem rolling around like there was a fire drill. As eye grow there’s an importance to being a kid sometimes, as long as you’re not harming another or one cellf.

Just as eye was thankhing her for indulging with me, Shon dived head first into the ocean, shocking the hell out of me. Appearing above water she said, “now that was for me.” Eye was filled with several emotions, wondering if she was in pain and also thrilled by her overcoming her fear of getting her ear wet.

At this point, we was done with the water but eye wanted to go for one last swim before calling it a day. Eye wasn’t prepared for what happened next. One moment eyem floating and riding the waves, still able to stand in the water if need be. The next instance the tide gradually picked up pushing me further into the ocean, eye was unable to touch the ocean floor. Eye didn’t panic because eye know how to swim but when looking back and seeing how far out Eye was, sparked some fear. As eye attempted to swim back, a tide went over my head, sinking me under and push me further out. As eye came up gasping for air another tide came rapidly pushing me under again.

Eye started to screamed Shons name and wave my hands but eye knew she couldn’t hear me being she’s deaf in one ear. Eye could see her recording me not seeing what was really happening, at one point she waved back. Panic!

Eye felt mycellf spiral into a sunken place and no one could hear me, Eye screamed “HELP” over and over again. No one. Eye just knew death was next, the more eye tried to persevere eye began to tire mycellf out and choke on the water. Eye was alone, afraid, and running out of solutions.

Eye’ve always been curious of how people drowned/what those final moments were like and here eye am experiencing all of the feels. From all the times eye questioned being born, dealt with thoughts of suicide to searching for purpose, today affirms that Eyem not in control nor do eye want to die. It also affirmed that my assignment on this planet isn’t complete.

There was definitely a presence with me today, something jolted in me and eye kept fighting, stroking/treading water and breathing. In that moment eye chose to live, more than ever before! Eye could see the lifeguards arriving on four wheelers, Eye instantly began to praise God for the second chance. The look on Shons face was priceless, she had no idea they were coming for me as the ran past her. Before they could get to me, Eye made my way closer to shore. A vivid picture of a scene from the movie “The Sandlot” crossed my mind. (Eye smile internally) The lifeguard kept asking “did you swallow water?” Eye couldn’t even respond, eye was filled with soul much gratitude. The lifeguard Zack, informed me that eye got caught in a “rip tide” and that eye did a great job by waving my hands, that’s how he knew Eye was in danger.

Eye burst out in laughter to keep from crying, when deep down inside feelings of embarrassment came up, the fear of dying came up, the thoughts of leaving this earth before my parents came up. Shon always warns me to not go out far but in this instance, it was totally out of my control. The sign came after the experience, that’s deep!

Eye sat at the beach for 5 hours after that just soaking it in, we even searched and read blogs of people who’ve been caught in a tide and had been faced with a near death experience. One gentleman spoke profoundly of how his life took a turn for the good afterwards.

Did eye experience trauma today? Was eye being punished for something eye’d done? Did eye interfere with fate? Eye’ve dreamed of drowning over the years, was this a precognition? As eye observed mycellf doing a downward spiral, eye caught mycellf and focused my innerG on the lesson versus the “tragedy”. Spirit said, “be careful for what you ask for because your words/thoughts create your reality. Step into who you really are, you already know you are the CHOSEN one. Stop looking for someone to save you, you’re obviously capable of saving yourcellf beloved.” Wowwwww Eye did save mycellf, even Shon confirmed that eye never really panicked, she saw me breathing deep and using my tools in my time of need. At times, eye can be extremely hard on mycellf and not give mycellf credit for how far eye’ve come. Not anymore, not after today!

We literally sat on the beach and watched several people experience the exact same thing eye did. Feelings of anger creeped in seeing the beach goers just sit still and watch as they did when eye was in the same position. There was no urgency or compassion for these human beings and that saddened me. There was lifeguards that went out and even got stuck along with those they intended to rescue. All Eye could do is pray and cry out for more relief. Everyone made it to shore safely, eye now get why individuals become infatuated with lifeguards lol. To risk ones life to save another’s, that’s powerful/selfless!

Eye can go on for days but to close, stay posted for the magick that’s on the horizon! If you have a near death experience that has changed your life, and you feel comfortable sharing please share it. The relief eye got reading others stories gave me some inner peace to know eye wasn’t alone and people do survive tragedy’s as such!

Peace x love x light x infinite abundance x oneness to every soul reading this right now! Eye love you just as eye love mycellf! Ase’

Empress Dric